“Art is a collaboration between god and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.” Andre Gide
Guest post by Gary Molloy – Painter/Poet – London England
My name is Gary Molloy, I’m an Artist, poet and charity worker. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar 1 disorder, which is a severe form of the illness in my mid-twenties. I use Art, as a medium for channeling crippling mood swings.
Painting still-lives, landscapes and figures, my interest lies in the outline of forms and not in their intricate details. My work is insular and immediate – a characteristic which is accentuated by use of impasto and broad brush strokes.
Ten years ago, I arrived at Core Arts, a mental health charity which helps people connect with and discover their creative potential. I’d never been remotely interested in Art before, but the spark of creativity that my first visit ignited, flared into a blaze of exuberance with flame like forms and scar like brushstrokes. In recent years the glow of this period has blended with more subtle realizations of beauty in the observed object or chosen motif.
Through my art and poetry, I could finally connect with something creative. I had found my vocation and it turned into my purpose. I have rediscovered my dreams, which were shattered by 10 years of illness.
One of the first paintings I sold, in the early days at Core Arts, was titled Freedom. I slowly realized that Freedom is not escape from the Storm; its peace within the Storm. Another Painting I sold was titled Forgiveness. This began the journey of forgiving myself and others and inspired this poem.
Lost for Words
I’m lost, lost for words
Having so much to say and
No way to say it
Losing your life
through debilitating illness
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Being held down by six nurses
And injected with medication
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Taking a brisk walk
Drugged up, depressed and isolated
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Losing your selfish self
and coming back to life
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Hoping that dream will be answered
And looking for a love that was once so real
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Taking time to reflect on goals
And ambitions of the past
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Gaining self-confidence and losing my inhibitions
Developing peace of mind
Makes me feel lost, lost for words
Learning to live in the moment
and forgiving myself for past unhappiness
Makes me feel lost, lost for words.
For years throughout my illness, I was living in fear, fear of failure and the future. Fear seemed to be my best buddy. I felt very controlled, closed and dead. Today I am living out of purpose; I’m happy working on my Art and being creative. Now I’m living from a place of love, and I feel open, free and alive.
I had a very serious side-effect called Akathisia in 1999 from a high dose of Anti-psychotic medication. It took years to find out what had happened, but through research, I found other people online who had experienced the same condition. They described an extreme condition with an inability to sit still, coupled with an inability to move. You struggle to breath and it can go on for days, some sites on-line describe it as chemical torture. I wanted to highlight this in an Art form and so designed a puzzle and short book titled Akathisia which was completed in March and will be available soon.
It took me years to realize my happiness, health and Harmony was my choice, my right, and it would lead to Freedom. My work has been exhibited at the Tate Modern, Christies Auction House, Mayfair (Alongside Andy Warhol) and currently at the V&A childhood museum London.
Finally I’d like to say I have been well for 12 years. My wish and goal is to inspire, encourage and help people through art.
Feel free to visit my website to see more of my Art: Gary Molloy – Artworks
“Gary’s paintings are like oxygen on fire, he reignites hope and makes the mind, aware that the space inside the ribcage has other purposes beyond that of navigating the labyrinth of daily struggle. What Gary finds and brings to us through his paintings is the ability to dream of restoring our hopes…” Rossen Daskalov
Gary,
This is a lovely post that allows us to look inside the life of another being on our planet. Too often we feel as though we are ‘all the same’ – and indeed we are – and yet we forget to acknowledge the story of another person. Thank you for sharing yours. While I can’t begin to imagine what your life experience has been, I so appreciate your connection to the creativity you carry within. Beautiful sharing….thank you, my friend. xoxo
Thank you for your comments about my art and recovery..
Best wishes. X. Gary molloy.
This is inspirational stuff. I am so pleased that you are well. I have a friend who has gone through much the same thing and is now off medication. A combination of spiritual practice and Ayravedic medicine. Thanks for writing and sharing this inspirition. You have much to gift the world
Thank you tony, I appreciate you taking time to comment means so much!!
Best wishes. Gary molloy.
Thanks for your post and art, i have never been diagnosed , but i relate to what you wrote, i have suffered since teenage years , i am now 40 and tired of it , i got blessed today, was so tired of how i felt, things worked out , tormented, yes, feel like sht , yes, gripped and twisted up in fear, yep ! What to do , keep hoping, thank you for what you wrote !
11/10/2012: A few days ago I came to the realization that I have been creating art that is exactly the way you express your purpose in life, to” enlighten through art.” So, I went on facebook and created a page (nothing is established on it yet) and named it “Enlighten Thru’ Art” I got on line today and wondered if I could get to my fb pages from the browser, so I typed in the title of my fb page and arrived at your website. We have the exact perspective of how we can use our natural inclination to put a little dent in this messed up world. Your a kindred brother and I wanted to let you know that there are people out here, such as myself, who are thinking in the same vein as your are, Finding you as inspired me to do more.
You are an amazing person
Keep on the great work!